When it comes to losing weight, I am often told ‘I’m just lazy’. So is there such a thing as being too lazy to change? Yes and no. It is true that the only thing that stops us changing and doing the work needed is fear, but it is also true that some people are just not as bothered about their weight as they think they are. They may still be using food as a cure, but for them it works. They know that they eat to feel better; maybe, for whatever reason, they can’t or don’t want to change the reason why, and they have also acknowledged that if they were slimmer, nothing in their life would change. That is the reality for some; nothing would change. I’ve had clients who after a few sessions would say ‘I don’t care about the weight, I’m happy now; I know nothing would change if I were thin.’
If we anchor something to being slim, like being loved or being happy, we forget about being loved or being happy now and just become fixated on the weight. In reality, it is easier to become loved or happy than it is to become thin because happy and loved are feelings we can create in ourselves immediately.
Then there are those who don’t do the work, don’t try any of the techniques, and just allow themselves to react, because they are too afraid of the alternative. The alternative is change. It will be different to how it is now and that can be terrifying to some, even if that new place would be 100 times better. We know how to deal with things as they are. If it changed we might lose people, things or even thoughts that we use to feel better. I can’t force anyone to commit to change; even those who come to me devoid of any hope after decades of dieting can still be too afraid to change themselves and their lives. These people are used to a repetitive life that is safe, no matter how miserable it makes them. They don’t want to rock the boat in any way. They have spent most of their lives living for others or reliant upon others and have no idea how to do anything for themselves. Will these people ever change? Probably not without a life event that drives that change for them. If this is you, then don’t hate yourself for it, be kind, be understanding and be who you need to be right now.
Extract from “Still Overweight? The 6-week course that changes your weight and relationship to food forever”